Conceited and Stuck up are words that I became very familiar with early on. Although I never felt they actually defined me, I realized later that my security and self esteem was most likely being misunderstood for being those things. Either way, it had an affect on me, one that led me to shy away from being comfortable with myself. While most females struggle with finding beauty and confidence within themselves, there I was hiding my confidence and trying so hard not to project too much beauty. It wasn't until my adult life, where conversations with my husband have led me to actually share those moments and express the way it made me feel. The first step to overcoming is recognizing and admitting the problem. That's done!
I have defined "conceited" and perhaps I am "overly proud" of myself, why shouldn't I be? Why should I wait for another to be it for me? Being confident to me is something I know many have a hard time with. I understand beauty is defined differently by everyone. We need to stop thinking there is one particular example of it. I know my worth and know it's more than just at the surface, it's your soul. Now in my adult state, I also know that no matter what there is always going to be someone that wants to say something and judge. Be it because of their insecurities, their taste... their demons.... Whatever it is it's all the same, it's THEIR OPINION! Something I can never take away from another, they are entitled to it.
There was one other word I heard a lot, from adults mostly ( family and strangers) it used to upset me so much and made me feel so crappy, it's a Spanish word for unsympathetic and obnoxious, ANTIPÁTICA. It's funny to me now, many years later, now I understand that because I may be rejecting to something or a situation, I'll be called obnoxious. Once again an opinion they are entitled to, I am also entitled to reject anything un comforting or un soothing. Nobody realizes as a young girl I've seen and been involved with things that led me to be rejecting and nasty ... if it wasn't for that I could have easily been the target for much more. So, I could (A.)conceal myself, attempt to camouflage and do everything possible to not give anyone a reason to say I'm full of myself OR (B.) I can exhibit my FULL SELF.
I choose B!
Just some days ago my husband shared an Oprah interview with me (I'll share the link), there was a part that mentioned her being referred to as being full of herself, she said you have to be, that will be the only way to be able to give to others by BEING FULL. So, if I'm going to be called something, I should OWN IT! And I will. That video motivated me tremendously, it was like the last turn on my winding key.
I am now ready to just be my beautiful self and I challenge myself to wear my confidence on my sleeve.